Food Tour of Ankh-Morpork

Ankh-Morpork has a vibrant food and beverage scene.  Those coming here to seek their fortune brought their cuisines with them and whether you want a sausage inna bun or something with lots of avec and gold dust sprinkled on it, you will be catered for in our odoriferous city. We recommend The Compleat Ankh-Morpork City Guide for a full list of edible options.

You can find street vendors on almost any street. Unique to A-M are Hot Chair Cafes. These are single rooms with one dish on offer but they are a good option for those on a budget. There are also many upscale restaurants catering to all types of dietary needs.

Our tour of the food and beverage scene of A-M starts in the area of the Shades with an early morning trip to The Pearl & Oyster on Mud Lane/Pearl Dock, a short walk from Cockbill Street.  They are known for their Jellied Eels, a local delicacy.  It is best to attempt this in daylight, in a group or with some protection.

Close by on Rope Street is Harga’s House of Ribs, not to be missed, a popular eatery serving traditional A-M cuisine.

Follow the quays along the river until you get to Treacle Mine Road where you will find The Widespread Arms, across the road from the Seamstresses Guild.  One of the friendliest taverns in the city, it has an excellent selection of beer, wine and spirits.

Continuing down Treacle Mine Road, turn left onto Cable Street to find Gimlet’s Hole Food Delicatessen. Originally catering to the Dwarven population it has expanded its repertoire to cater for a more diverse clientele and is known for its burnt crunchy bits.

At the end of Cable street take a left turn up Easy Street, on the corner with Rime Street you will find the Bunch of Grapes, known for its ales.  Best avoided on Friday evenings when local Folk singers assault the senses.

Return back down Easy Street away from the River and turn left onto Cheap Street, follow that along as it turns into God Street and at the junction with Blood Alley you will find The Curry Gardens, a modest curry house with some exclusive clientele.

Following God Street again, take a left at Short Street. At the junction with Filigree Street you will find the Mended Drum.  Some of you may have read about the Mended Drum in its heyday, unfortunately (or fortunately for those of a milder disposition) its wilder days are in the past.  Tourists, however, may enjoy the choreographed fights in which you can partake with rubber axes.

Make your way to Contract Bridge and follow the edge of the Island on By-Your-Leave Walk. Turn right onto Squeezebelly Alley to find Fat Sally’s, an establishment that serves the best Klatchian Coffee in the city.  Pass through Pseudopolis Yard and meander up Lower Broadway where you will find All Jolson’s.  This is considered to be the best restaurant in the city but with plenty of avec comes a steep bill so those more budget conscious may want to keep walking.

Walk across Brass Bridge and towards the Patrician’s Palace. To the left take Turnwise Broadway and turn left again at Wet Alley.  Here you will find The Tap Room at Bearhugger’s distillery.  There is a wide selection of whiskies.  We recommend you imbibe well before your next stop as an advanced state of drunkenness is advised before undertaking the last stop in our food tour.

Once you have drunk your fill (or more than your fill) stagger your way along Turnwise Broadway, turning onto The Maul and into the Plaza of Broken Moons.  Somewhere in the linked squares between there and Sator Square you will find Mr C.M.O.T. Dibbler, just look for a crowd and you’ll find him. Eating one of Dibbler’s ever-changing offers is a rite of passage for visitors to our fair city.  He most frequently sells Sausages inna bun and for a higher price named meat Sausages inna bun.  He is also prone to jump on whatever the fad of the moment is so you may find other options for sale also.  We cannot stress enough that it is ill advised to attempt to consume any of Mr. Dibbler’s products without copious amounts of alcohol lining your stomach.